Photo Captions – Floating Granny

Excuse me, waiter? I’m sorry but there’s an elderly woman on our wall. Either this is one of Banksie’s most realistic paintings or there is really an old woman in a chair several feet above some disinterested outdoor diners. This kind of thing must happen every day wherever they take their outdoor meals. Presumably in the space station or a section of the world so devoted to the dark art of levitation that it is commonplace to them. Maybe we can help explain what you’re seeing with our captions.

Denise

  1. In her golden years, Hermione at times forgot she was not to levitate in the presence of muggles.
  2. The non-smoking section was very limited at this tiny village café.
  3. During Betty’s most recent family intervention, her loved ones agreed to ignore her whenever she engaged in attention-seeking behavior.

Douglas

  1. Listening to Grandma Susan’s squeaky voice was nothing short of hysterical. But this time she may have taken too large a hit from the helium bottle.
  2. “Oh hell in a hatbox, call the fire department. Aunt Liz has gotten herself stuck up on the wall again.”
  3. “I tell you I have been up and down this wall all night. Are you sure they didn’t put cabbage on my Rueben?”

Philip

  1. “World’s Most Powerful Fart” champion, Dorothy Jones, shows off for a surprisingly disinterested crowd.
  2. Perhaps the next time Mabel asks a waiter for a high chair, she won’t request that he “towel off some of that nasty French toilet water” first.
  3. As soon as Jeanine is ready to start acting in a civilized manner, she’s welcome to get out of the “time out chair.”

Seriously, how the hell did she get up there? More importantly, how the hell is she going to get down. If you have any ideas please add them to the comments section below.

 

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