Photo Captions – Retro Dance

What in the name of Wonder Bread is going on here??? Did our ancestors actually gyrate in such a manner so as to attract members of the opposite sex? And if so, why? Nothing I’d care to think about, thank you very much. I’d prefer to think of it the way we captioned it.


  1. In the era before dyslexia was commonly diagnosed, Dave genuinely believed he was putting his left foot in when he did the hokey pokey.
  2. “I’m really not sure what we’re doing. Can someone tell me if this is necking? Heavens, it’s not the sex is it?”
  3. The Learning Annex offered classes that were a great place to meet people and learn valuable skills such as roach smushing.


  1. A young Glen Beck (left) developed his strong anti-lesbian stance after assuming that all three of these young ladies rejected him because they were gay.
  2. White people don’t naturally suck at dancing. It takes years of practice.
  3. Karl Rogers (right, glasses) liked to think of himself as the life of the party, but that really depended on the party.


  1. Lawrence Welk parties began popping up in the more liberal neighborhoods, but we were not allowed to go anywhere near them. Merciful heavens, no..
  2. “Tonight’s class will cover stepping and snapping in unison. Robert, the Electric Slide will not exist for several more decades. Cut it out, already.”
  3. Early versions of Twister basically involved only the feet and just one color so there would be no risk of coed touching.

Any other ideas about what might be happening here? That’s why we have a Comment section.


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